The Attitudimeter: Yes, Roger is on this List

Lot of big news in the pro tennis world in the last week or so. Time to crank up the 'meter!

Who's Got Attitude

Roger Federer

He's not so much "up" as he is No. 1 in the world again. I, personally, was pretty happy with the previous No. 1, but whatever. This is fine, too. If you want to talk about longevity, let's talk about something I wrote about Fed some 11 years ago this month:

Some things never change. He's still the best and he still talks as if he could actually lose to people. So adorable.

Petra Kvitova

You might say there's no kvit in her. You might if you liked cheesy wordplay. If you like a player returning from a long and scary layoff only to come back and win two fairly big tournaments back-to-back, you'd probably like Kvitova's recent history. She's looking dominant against most players and grinding out tough wins against the better players. It can't be easy to return from a lot of time off, and not everyone has rebounded as well as she has (we'll talk more about that in a second), but she is looking like an early Wimbledon contender. Again.

Simona Halep

I'm not sure how you're a top five player and can't get a clothing deal, but that problem is finally solved for Halep. She's a Nike girl now, but wondering if she's going to be one of those Nike girls wearing the same set as the other Nike girls during tournaments. Bad news is that she's now sidelined with injury after playing well post-Australian Open, but I have a question. Why are major finalists and winners not taking time off after a Slam anymore? Caroline Wozniacki was playing the very next tournament after Australia. But why?

Who Needs an Attitude Adjustment

Maria Sharapova

You're probably thinking: "So, who now? Where has she been?" She has been in tournaments. She was in Qatar. She lost in the first round to Monica Niculescu. Sharapova has not had a great go of it since she's been back. Sure, she beat Halep at the Open last fall, but she's not even advancing far enough in tournaments to get a sniff at the top players right now. And I wonder if this would be happening if she hadn't been banned. She's been back on the tour about the same time as Kvitova, but they are obviously on different tracks right now. It's not just that she's not winning. She hasn't beaten a top-10 player since Halep, who has since returned the favor in dominant form. She's getting destroyed by top players. Angelique Kerber beat the crap out of Sharapova in the third round in Australia. She made the final of the Australian before her suspension. I just wonder what's going on in the alternate universe, where she didn't feel the need to hide from most of her team that she was taking a medication that would later be banned.

LEAGUE WATCH: It's All in Your Head (OK, My Head)

It's that time again -- USTA league play is finally underway here in Florida. And for me, that means ... uh-oh. It means I hadn't played any tennis in at least three weeks, but yet I'm mad I'm not in the week one lineup.
And see, this isn't all my fault. What had happened was that my home courts -- located a comfortable seven minutes from my house -- is now under construction. In the meantime, the best place to pick up matches is a half-hour away. So it's been either drive across the county after work or try to coax others to come find a court closer to me. Naturally, neither has happened. Thus the spider webs on my racquets.
But this time, I had a plan to brush up on my game, despite not having played in three weeks and just one day before my first league match. I would play for hours with a fun group the day before. I'd work out all the kinks with my serve and backhand. The muscle memory would kick in, and I would be all set for the following day. Brilliant!
I didn't play well on Saturday. I couldn't get my toss in the right place and if the ball wasn't hit to my forehand, it was not likely to go over the net. But, I thought, now I know what I need to work on!
But a very surprising development unfolded on Sunday during my match. I continued my poor play from the day before and actually played worse than ever at times. The first league of the year out here is the 7.0 mixed, so I was playing with a 3.0. That means that, as the higher-rated player, it doesn't mean necessarily that you need to take over a match, but you do need to be the steadier player, the one making things happen. That would have been really helpful, especially considering what we had across the net -- a very experienced and physically strong 4.0 guy. That's the time when you need to really target the opposition's weakness while shoring up your own issues.
Unfortunately, however, that isn't what happened. Sure, I had a plan. I've played this 4.0 guy before. He was good, but I had beaten him in doubles before. I knew hitting to his partner was the best thing we could do. But here's the problem: It is very difficult to focus on how to pick apart the opposition when you are busy trying to remember how you hit a tennis ball in the first place.

Like, I had no rhythm, was rendered completely unable to move my feet. I re-tossed the ball for my serve about four times, per serve, on average. Not kidding. Even still, I double-faulted at least once per game. I'm one of those nervous laughers you've met and are annoyed by, so I'd miss badly and turn to my partner and laugh out an apology. He smiled, but I bet inside he was screaming for mercy. I know I was. It's really hard to focus on strategy when you are a bit distracted by your own game.
They say that behind every cloud is a silver lining and I believe ours that day was that we managed to win that one game in the first set.
So this was bad. Immediately after the match, I endeavored to play again as soon as possible and get to the bottom of this terrible play. On Tuesday, I was back at the courts and I didn't have to wait long to get into a foursome to play a set. My serve was still a hot mess, but strangely, I felt free to move and swing however I wanted. I was thinking strategically, seeing the gaps I had in the court, even hitting drop shots and volleys. I felt great.
"What's different about today and two days ago?" I asked myself about a half-hour into the set.
Forgive me -- I'm a little slow. The answer is obvious. One is a practice situation and the other is a match situation. It's pressure. You get used to dealing with it when you play regularly. That's why the practice is important, too. If you don't have to worry about yourself, you have time to focus on the mental part of tennis -- strategy and picking apart the opposition. Otherwise, you're just out there like

There's Bad Timing and Then There's Davis and Fed Cups

Bad timing is when you meet the perfect guy, but he just got married. It's someone bringing you a free meal, but you just ate. It's when you accept a job offer -- they day before you get an offer from the job you really wanted. Bad timing is when you miss a phone call from someone you really wanted to touch base with before they left for Japan for a month. That's bad timing.

I don't know what to call it when you schedule the first round of Davis Cup on Super Bowl weekend. Like, what do you call it? Nick Kyrgios has another breakdown and Australia is upset in the first round. If a tree falls in the woods, does anyone watch it on TV during the Super Bowl?!? U.S. team is back, winning the first round. Sure would be nice to have some good publicity after that Tennys S -- so wait, this Eagles quarterback,  he was a backup?!

I don't know what you call it when you schedule the first round of Fed Cup on opening weekend of THE WINTER OLYMPICS. What is that exactly? Oh, nothing. It's Serena Williams in all likelihood returning to the court for the first time in more than a ... huh? Curling? *#*(@* yeah, I'm watching some curling! Tara Lipinsky and Johnny Weir doing commentary on figure skating? Oh, yeah, son! Because this is only on ONCE EVERY FOUR YEARS. And Fed Cup is ... like, whenever during the year. Many times in the year. Yeah. The Czech Republic team is looking deep as ever, with Petra Kvitova and Karolina Plisk-- ... ohmygosh Lindsay Vonn. What a story. Wait, there's another Jamaican bobsled team. I am all in for that!

What was I saying? I can't remember. Yoooooooo, that Tongan guy is back and There's. More. Oil.

AO 2018 Attitudimeter: No One's Playing Down Unduh Anymoor!

There were a lot of questions going into the Australian Open. What will the women do without Serena? Will someone finally challenge Roger and Rafa? How much sleep do I really need to function daily?
It turns out that, as with every other Australian Open, you are left with even more questions: Kyle Edmund? We're still insisting on playing this tournament in conditions that eggs cannot survive? Why does it seem as though all the majority of young white American tennis players seem to like a little MAGA in their coffee?
Welp, it's time to ramp up the ol' Attitudimeter! First reading of 2018!

Who's Up

Simona Halep: Now, I never thought there would come a day when I would be sitting up in my bed at 4 a.m. (maybe it was 5?) staring wide-eyed at my laptop screen watching a women's final between Caroline Wozniacki and Simona Halep and kinda be sorta wouldn't-mind-too-bad-if-she-won rooting for ... Halep? Any regular readers know that I beat on Halep regularly over the on-court coaching crutch. I thought it might make her unable to stand on her own when she needed to. And look, I will build, maintain regularly and die on the hill that this policy is sexist AF and a mental crutch for a game that is 99.8794532 percent mental. But Halep showed in this tournament that she can figure it out and even produce great tennis under pressure -- because she had to do it many times against many comers. And even though she lost in the end, it wasn't like she gave it away, or choked. She played her best down to the last ball, and it's hard to believe she's going to make it out of 2018 without a Slam. She ready, yall:

Literally just wiped the smile off her own face.

Caroline Wozniacki: Well, we saw this coming, didn't we? Wozniacki has been threatening to come get her Slam for a solid year at this point, and between the stronger serve and transitioning out of a purely defensive game to become one of the better ball strikers the tour has right now -- well, it's a lot.

Roger Federer: Or, as he's known on the tour, Gramps. Federer, you'll recall, said at the beginning of the tournament that he's 36, and therefore too old to be a Slam favorite. Right. It was hard to catch a Fed match this tournament because he was always playing in the middle of the night (East Coast time) and was also done with his matches as though his daily calendar was packed. He didn't lose any sets until the final. (Which, OK. It's suspect that they closed the roof for the men's match while the women's final was played in sweltering heat. Like all of a sudden it just got hot out there. What?!?)

Angelique Kerber: It looks like the WTA Tour in 2018 is about to be lit is all I have to say about that.

Marin Cilic: Listen, it was a big deal to pick up two sets off of Federer in his current state.

Who's Down:

Venus Williams: This 2017 finalist lost in the first round this year, meaning she's now down in the rankings by about 75 million points. (Fact check: She only dropped from fifth to eighth because no one else above did anything at the Australian in 2017. )

Venus = still OG

Rafael Nadal: The Aussie Open draw gods gave Rafa some extra love this tournament, with scarcely a real challenge until Marin Cilic, and it was a combo of his opponent and an injury that kept him from finishing. The good news is that the injury is short term, which means the next question is: Will Fed sit for the French or challenge Nadal for No. once?

The USTA: I got some problems with the way it handled this Tennys Sandren situation, but we gonna need a whole new post for that one.

AO 2018: Having a Real Banguh of a Tournament Down Unduh!

Might not have used "banger" right in that instance. Don't care. I like the way it sounds in my brain, mate!
Let's just face the facts of what we have here: If my Australian Open draws were a body, it would have been bleeding out on night one. I mean, look at this:

This is like that Red Wedding episode on "Game of Thrones."
I honestly had planned to post at the midpoint of this tournament, but all of a sudden, it's the semifinals. I realized the reason I wasn't writing was because I was watching all the good tennis (and dragging Tennys Sandgren on Twitter, natch). But let's hit my top five personal highlights for this tournament and then recline on the couch for the semis (quick picks: Kerber/Woz and Cilic/Fed), shall we? OK!

5. Su-wei Hseih: My girl showed up to the Australian Open in a barely concealed bra because guess what? We're going to play the Open in 873-degree heat every year! Seriously, I feel like this was a tactical move and a damned good one. Besides that, she played some awesome tennis. Those angles! I spent the entire match between she and Kerber gasping at the speed and tactics.

4. Coco Is Nice for a Change: OK, this was way back, like three years ago in the first round. So Coco Vandeweghe, who is normally known for being rude and immature, was on the ropes against Timea Babos. But it was her "outburst" during a changeover where she sought out a banana that had me like, what?

CoCo Vandeweghe had gotten her first code violation earlier for time violation/civil disobedience: refusing to take court without eating a banana first. #AusOpen pic.twitter.com/6Opg7xon2N

— Ben Rothenberg (@BenRothenberg) January 15, 2018

The only reason I worry about this is that the one time that I see Vandeweghe speak calmly and making a well-reasoned argument, she gets in trouble for it! This does not encourage good behavior, ref! Of course, later, she earned a warning for swearing (which does sounds about right).

3. Lauren freakin' Davis: Bahmygawd that match against Simona Halep. I identify with Davis on a couple levels. First, also short. Second, also have RIP'ed several toenails during/after tennis matches. Probably the only difference is that my toenail removal wasn't broadcast in hi-def on ESPN. Third: Utter disregard for anyone in my way during a match:

OMG LOOK AT THAT LAUREN DAVIS ALMOST SMASHED THAT BALLBOY #AusOpen pic.twitter.com/4wcJlIjfM0

— LorenaPopa 🕵🏻‍♀️ (@popalorena) January 20, 2018

Very curious to see what a player like her can do on a clay court. Curious indeed.

2. Marin Cilic: You know when I talked about how great Rafael Nadal's draw was? And how he should be fine until he comes up against a big, flat hitter? Yeah, well, I was thinking about guys like Cilic, although Nadal is also dealing with an injury. Cilic is playing well right now and once won a Slam by beating one Roger Federer, so ...

1. Caroline Wozniacki: I mean, what the hell has gotten into the Woz? It's not just me, right? Her game has definitely grown three sizes in the last six months or so?

AO '18: We Got the Men Down Unduh!

Well, I have to admit that we have a better men's draw than expected. Yeah, we're still missing some heavy hitters (Andy Murray, Kei Nishikori), but I, frankly, was surprised to see that Novak Djokovic was going to play. Same with Stan Wawrinka. We will see what happens, but the buzz on-court hasn't been about them. It's been about the guys who have been playing.

Like Roger Federer, who himself said this weekend that he has no right being the favorite at a major. He would be wrong. Just this one time. First, he's seeded second (and we'll get to Nadal, of course). Second, he is playing some ridiculous tennis. Third, he has a fairly friendly draw. Milos Raonic could be a problem, but he's just back from injury, which might make an upset there less likely. In the quarters, he could see Juan Martin del Potro or David Goffin, who, despite their size difference are equal obstacles for old man Fed. The top half of the draw is a question for him. It's likely that either Dominic Thiem or Alexander Zverev will be the man to emerge from that quarter. Both have beaten Federer already and both are young and ready to step up. Oh, yeah, and Djokovic is in Zverev's quarter. And oh yeah, Wawrinka is in Thiem's quarter. 

You noticed all the big-time name dropping there, right? This leads to the question: Who is in the top half with our friend Rafa Nadal? He's got it mostly to himself. Not to dismiss the John Isners and Marin Cilics and Grigor Dimitrovs of the world, but he's got to feel pretty good about this draw if he's healthy. The main concern about Nadal, for me, is his apparent inability to handle hard, flat hitters, such as Borna Coric (potential second round), Nick Kyrgios, who is in the bottom half of the draw, along with Lucas Pouille, who presents the same problems (and probably is walking around with a confidence boost after winning the Davis Cup for the French team last month). But man, this is a pretty sweet draw. There is one seeded player in Nadal's half who has a winning record against him, and that's because he didn't finish a match against Damir Dzumhur. And, to be fair, it looks like he's never played No. 30 Andrey Rublev. I guess I'm saying things are looking good. 

Novak Djokovic. According to news reports, he still has that elbow problem, but he's here, so he probably thinks he's good to play. His first round is against Donald Young. And then probably Gael Monfils. And then seeded Albert Ramos-Vinolas possibly. All to get to Zverev. Well, I would say that Novak will have many opportunities to get some rigorous match play in this coming week. 

First round matches to watch:

Djokovic v. Young

Pablo Cuevas v. Mikhail Youzhny: Because Youzhny could always try to brain himself with his racquet. 

Juan Martin del Potro v. Frances Tiafoe

Sam Querrey v. Feliciano Lopez

AO '18: We Got the Ladies Down Unduh!

  

This ladies draw was so difficult for me to fill out that I literally had to sleep on it. I know Simona Halep is playing well in the early goings this year. But I don't know how all the tennis commentators are so easily handing her the crown when Petra Kvitova looms in Halep's quar-ter. They could meet in the third round. Karolina Pliskova is also in that quarter. In the same half of her draw are Garbine Muguruza and Angelique Kerber (to be discussed further in one moment here). Caroline Garcia. I mean, that's some new math, these pundits almost unanimously crowning Halep with the draw she has and the lack of previous Slam wins.
Now. That said, she has been playing some good tennis this year. She started out the year winning a title and clinching top seed for this tournament. But here's where I can't go 100 percent in on Halep in a major. She relies so heavily on on-court coaching that I don't know if she can just win a Grand Slam tournament without constant feedback. She hasn't done it yet. And she should be able to by now.
But you know who has done it before, a couple of times in fact (*whispers* and against better players than Halep)? Kerber. Now, at the end of 2016, I offered a rather sober analysis of Kerber's No. 1 status at that point. I argued that her game wouldn't endure at that level. And 2017 knocked her back a peg -- to the 23rd seed here in Australia. But man has she been killing it on the court this year. She's serving well and tagging the hell out of her backhand. She's also won a tournament this year already and beat a lot of good players in the process -- Venus Williams, Camila Giorgi, Dominika Cibulkova, etc. So I could see Kerber advancing through the top half, too. Not that her half doesn't have its own potential land mines -- there's Maria Sharapova as a possible third-round opponent and Garbine Muguruza in the following round.
So that's why I needed to sleep on this. Not that I'll be right or anything.
Bottom half: I mean, why does Australia hate Venus Williams so much? Her results here are far from consistent, and even though she was one match from winning it last year, she draws Belinda Bencic in the first round this year? Wait, didn't Serena Williams face Bencic in the first round last year? Wonder what I had to say about that?
I am really bad at this predicting thing and I somehow refuse to stop ...

Anyway. Moving on, Ekaterina Makarova is back, and in a draw with a Williams sister. I just think Venus has a really tough hand here. She dug herself out of some holes to be the only woman to advance to three of four Slam finals last year. She ended the year with some really winnable losses. I am still scratching my head over that Sloane Stephens match at the U.S. Open. So I don't know. I want to believe, but my pen does not follow.
Speaking of Sloane, it sure looks like she's in the middle of another Muguruza-esq post-Slam drought. You know the thing about Sloane that kind of makes me wonder about her ability to remain a force? Stuff like this interview. She says, "You guys are tweeting about me more." It shows that she's reading her own press, maybe even thumbing through her mentions on Twitter. Which also means she's already read Chris Evert's comments about her. (I wonder if Evert has ever had anything to say about the quite obvious immaturity of Coco Vandeweghe.) But Sloane shouldn't be reading what people are saying about her. If she gets sucked into that, it could take a while for her to get out of this slide. Besides, she's got bigger problems on her hands, like her draw. Her quarter contains Daria Kasatkina (who Serena mentioned as one of the better young players in a recent interview), Elina Svitolina, and maybe Venus again, or Makarova.
I've still got the men to write about, so let's go to the matches to watch in the first round:
Obviously Venus v. Bencic
Kvitova v. Andrea Petkovic: DING! Upset alert
Kristina Mladenovic v. Ana Bogdan: Thoughts and prayers for Mladenovic, who is somehow ranked No. 11, despite the fact that she hasn't won a match since last July. Yes, she has been playing.
Jelena Ostapenko v. Francesca Schiavone: You go ahead Schiavone! I just mean in general, not specifically in this match she is not likely to win.
Sam Stosur v. Monica Puig: I'm afraid Stosur may never win her home slam.

The Official 2017 TWA Yearbook

And here I was, thinking I could wait until after Christmas and still get my last entry of the year in before the start of the 2018 season. But as I write, the first matches of the season have already been contested. So yeah. I'm thinking someone should do something about the lack of an offseason, especially considering we're coming off a season where half of the best men in the world didn't make it through the whole season.
But hey. What do I know. Actually, I know that the pro tennis season was one of the best things about 2017. So let's try and squeeze in a conversation about that before Serena Williams (!) plays her first match since January 2017, when she won the Australian Open while pregnant. Let's go!

Head of the Class: So, this season, the ATP and WTA had to deal with the same quandary -- the sudden loss of their top talent. But the players remaining handled it completely differently, I think. Serena Williams took the rest of the year off to have a baby and the other women spent the rest of the year playing hot potato. "No, you take the top ranking and all the Slams!" "Gah! No, you! Don't touch me!"
But most of these players didn't have anything in terms of experience on Mssrs. Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal. So when Novak Djokovic and Andy Murray were felled by injury this season, Federer and Nadal knew what to do. But they were nice about it -- they split the four Slams evenly among them. So, for the second year in a row, there will be co-heads of the class. But this time, neither are women. Don't @ me.

Most Inspiring Player: This is a toss-up, because there is one guy who claimed wins against Fed and Nadal this season, but came up short in the Slams and in Davis Cup. He also has beaten Djokovic and Nick Kyrgios. Regardless, David Goffin might look like a bag of bones in oversized tennis shorts, but his game said much more. (His player page says he's 5-foot-11. Nah, right?) Next time you feel like you're outsized, out-powered and out-talented, well, you probably are. But before you take the bagel, consider that this year, Goffin shored up his weaknesses to prevail against some of the biggest names in the game. Except Grigor Dimitrov, of all people.
There is also one woman who has shown up quietly to all the Slams this year and made the final of three of them. Due to recent underwhelming results, no one really expected Venus Williams to be a force this season. But there she was, on one half of the court during some the best matches of the year. She did this being older by her opponents by often a decade at least, and sometimes without her best tennis. She never did it with a coach in her ear at every timeout. She's old-school in every way -- except she's not quite ready for the senior tour. And when Venus is on a roll, it's best to let that roll go. Am I right, Jennifer?

Most Popular: Maria Sharapova, of course. She really was the belle of the ball. Never has anyone returned from a drug ban to such pomp, including a tournament holding a spot for her after it had already started until the end of her suspension. I might have noted once or twice how unimpressed I was with how her suspension went down, but fans didn't care. When tournament organizers thought that she might qualify to get into Wimbledon, they sold tickets to those rounds -- and people bought them! (Remember when Sharapova said she'd play anywhere, even a New York City street? Turned out that enthusiasm didn't extend to, like, qualifiers.) So there you go. The people (who aren't me) have spoken. 

Most Likely to Succeed: Garbine Muguruza, like the other women on the WTA Tour, has been unsteady this year, but her run to the Wimbledon title, including her utter domination of the second half of the final match, makes me think she's got a shot at hitting the ground running next year. Whatever her obstacles, they seem to be between the ears. 

Most Likely to Succeed ... at Something Other than Tennis: Martina Hingis, who probably should consider another profession because it would appear she has done just about everything possible in tennis. I'm sure that if she took up MMA boxing, it'd go okay. I guess. She might be slight, but Hingis will cut you.

That Student Who Skates Through the School Year, But Aces the Final Exam: Looking at you, Caroline Wozniacki. She had a solid season, although she came up short in most of the final matches she played. Until September, when she won her first final out of seven tries. And then. She goes to the WTA Finals and beats Venus, who she had never beaten before. 

The Attitudimeter: Davis Cup Finals and Shuttin' Down the Machine

Welp, this is the last installment of the Attitudimeter because there's no more pro tennis. Just tennis gossip, baby-mama drama, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle and the Aussie Open's Serena-watch. Don't worry -- there will be more at this spot. I've been seeing some straight JACKED-UP year-end tennis compilations and we will be setting the record straight. But first:

High Attitude

The French Davis Cup team

First of all, there is really only one acceptable circumstance in my mind for grown men crying, and it is when they have won the Davis Cup and come through for their captain, Yannick Noah. Nick Mahut looked like he wasn't gonna make it off the court. It's winning moments like this that make you realize how great the Davis Cup could be if only they tried to do it the right way. (Next year, the tournament is going to try a few changes, such as a two-day format for ties and best-of-three matches, and other stupid things. Of course they could consider Judy Murray's idea to make Davis and Fed cups happen every other year, but sure, let's do some ticky-tack changes first. Sigh.) But back to the French. Their win was the first in 16 years at Davis Cup, which is crazy because of their consistent depth. I mean, you can pull Mahut to put in Richard Gasquet in the doubles. Anyway, they played some high-quality tennis and it's hard to believe it'll take them another 16 years to win again.

The Belgian Davis Cup team

It's tempting to make this all about David Goffin, who did all he could to get his team to that trophy, but it wasn't enough in the end. At the same time, this was essentially the team that got this far -- Steve Darcis, Ruben Bemelmans and Joris De Loore -- that got the Belgians here in the first place. They did some of that without Goffin, and against some tough customers -- Germany, Italy, Australia. So, they probably feel like crap this week, thinking they just needed one more match to get over the hump, but overall, it was a pretty good season for these guys.

Low Attitude

French tennis fans

I have never been to France. But I have always heard that it's such a great place -- the City of Light, etc. So you would not expect to see such trash tennis fans there, and yet, they are worse than the New York crowds liquored up at night at the U.S. Open. They really highlighted this during the Davis Cup match between David Goffin and Jo-Jo Tsonga. In sum, Tsonga quit playing a point after he assumed that an "out" call was made, mostly because the ball was most definitely out. But also because the crowd was yelling and booing constantly. So Tsonga complained to the ump, specifically saying it was too loud to hear, but she basically told him he was outta luck. And what does the crowd do in response? Yell and boo constantly. Good. Good.
They roll like this every French Open. You wonder why French tennis players have trouble winning in France? They probably have scarred poor Mary Pierce for life.

The Attitudimeter: Jack Sock is here?!??

Just in time for Thanksgiving, a special holiday edition of The Attitudimeter. Despite all the craziness in the world right now, there is still plenty to be thankful for, especially where tennis is concerned. Tennis is really the only thing that didn't completely suck this year, when you think about it. So let's dig in!

High Attitude

These Shoes Right Here

I think it's great Serena Williams got married this weekend with everyone who is cool in attendance. Her baby is very adorable. Her husband appears to be well-trained to worship her regularly. But these dancing shoes for the reception

were really just the best things I've ever seen. Hands down.

Grigor Dimitrov

He won the ATP Finals. OK. Whatevs. We're gonna talk about how on earth something like this could even happen, but imagine a world where some of the strongest players on tour weren't injured right now. Where would Dimitrov have been during the finals? Shuffleboard? Playing Old Maid, maybe? But, yeah, congratulations ...

David Goffin

... to the guy who was really the star pupil at the finals. Let us consider that Goffin of Mordor was having a pretty great season to begin with when he suffered a gruesome on-court injury at the French Open. He came back and was still able to earn a spot in the finals. And then he beat Nadal and Roger Federer, ending both their seasons. He did the heavy lifting so that Dimitrov didn't have to. Also, he's a good four feet shorter than everyone else on tour. All hail our favorite tennis Hobbit.

Low Attitude

The ATP Tour

You really have to assess the choices you make as a tour when you've got Jack Sock at the year-end championships. This isn't Sock shade, honestly. He played well at the finals, advancing to the semis, and beating Alexander Zverev. But look who's on the sidelines. Andy Murray. Novak Djokovic. Milos Raonic. Kei Nishikori. Rafa Nadal as a late addition. These finals were never supposed to be a "best of the rest" wrap-up. I guess this is my way of saying that this is a good time to take a look at that tournament schedule, and if not that, then looking at what you're requiring of players.

The Tennis World

One of my first tennis fan memories was watching Jana Novotna cry on the shoulder of royalty when she lost Wimbledon. Yes, that was a terrible moment for her, but a great humanizing moment for the sport. I think that maybe when you also play tennis yourself (not always on a pro level), that sort of moment makes you realize it's OK for tennis to mean something to you. So it sucks to lose someone like Novotna so young to cancer. She was just 49. Hopefully, she understood that her moment of sadness on the court spoke to many of us in many ways. RIP, Jana.
Same goes to Pancho Segura, who at least was able to live a full and successful life. He died at 96 this week as well. He had a record-breaking career ... and also gave us Jimmy Connors. But you can't be perfect.

The Australian Open in 2018

Look at this. I mean

Shot clock in Melbourne and intent of 16 seeds in Grand Slams in 2019 : pic.twitter.com/vugFNBzFVs

— Carole Bouchard (@carole_bouchard) November 21, 2017

I can see wanting to address player withdrawals. That makes sense. But it's a pretty hard line to say that if you retire from a first-round match, then you'll probably get fined. (Tanking, yes, should always be fined, Nick Kyrgios.) But ... what if you do it during the second round?
Also, I am old enough to remember why the Slams went to the 32-player draw -- to prevent, say, Grigor Dimitrov from playing Nadal in the second round. I was resistant, but it made sense, especially as tennis developed depth, and it's turned out well. So why change this? I can even see the argument for three-set matches for men before I see the logic of this nonsense. The shot clock in matches? What?!?? Why is tennis so insecure? Why are they trying to appeal to people who don't like tennis? Other sports aren't willing to change its bones to please non-fans. Am I missing something? I think, actually, that I'll miss tennis when it's gone.

The Attitudimeter: It's All Uphill From Here

It looks like the Attitudimeter is malfunctioning this week, because it seems that nothing good happened in pro tennis, except Roger Federer playing tennis in a kilt. Alas, the ATP Finals are this week, so it can only go uphill from here. Unless their draw ceremony also included some light sexism. Anyway, let's do this thing:

Who's down

Victoria Azarenka's ex

Normally, I wouldn't delve into tennis players' personal lives unless it involved winning a Grand Slam while pregnant, but here is exception No. 2. This guy. I mean, fine. It didn't work out. That happens. You both love your child and both of you want custody. What are the levels of petty required to refuse to allow the mother of your child to travel for work because you want custody? You could figure this out in the offseason. You could let your baby mama work so she can afford to support little Leo (and let's be honest, buddy, you too, ex), but no.

The ATP Next Gen Finals

It's a good idea, I guess. Pit the young talent against each other, ATP Real Finals-style. They're good, but not ready for prime time. Sounds good. But what doesn't sound good, given the social climate these days, is doing your draw presentation with female models who have to remove their clothes to reveal the (male) player's group:

The ATP NextGen Milan draw ceremony made players select models to determine their groups. Stunningly uncomfortable, cringeworthy and trashy. pic.twitter.com/g63OfK5IOK

— Ben Rothenberg (@BenRothenberg) November 5, 2017

That was just how it started. This tournament was supposed to be an experiment in making tennis a little less tennis-y. For example, a shot clock between points, no-let, no-ad scoring and four-game sets. Yeah, I'm been here before, so I'm not going to get my blood pressure up ranting about this anymore. I will just simply say that if you don't like tennis, then go watch another sport and let the rest of us who like tennis enjoy tennis. How's that?

The Belarus Fed Cup team

I could only find the Fed Cup final online and they were not speaking English, but I would really like to know what those girls were sniffing on changeovers and if it's legal.

Because that doesn't look legal.
I guess you have to give it up for this team, because they managed to make it to the finals, despite the absence of Victoria Azarenka all year. This is how you know it wasn't an Olympic qualifying year. This one girl, whose name is Aryna Sabalenka, strongly resembles Andy Roddick both in appearance

and in horrific net game. I mean, watch this:



and then this



Having said all of that, they took it the distance and if this girl wasn't such a terrible volleyer, they probably would have won Fed Cup.

The U.S. Fed Cup team

The U.S. Fed Cup team really did go the distance against a team of no-name players from Belarus, even though they brought a Grand Slam champ and a semifinalist. They brought guns to a knife fight and the Americans somehow nearly bled out. I watched the final match in its entirety because I could barely believe how bad it was. The Belarusian girls played their ranking throughout, while Sloane Stephens, who just won the U.S. Open, basically donated her singles matches. Coco Vandeweghe, who is normally one of the cockiest players I've ever seen, looked like she couldn't handle life in the doubles rubber. And then there was Shelby Rogers celebrating an opponent error like she just won the Publisher's Clearinghouse. It was something to behold.
Actually, it wasn't.

The Attitudimeter: WTA Finals edition

Live from ... my home office ... a special Attitudimeter, WTA Finals edition! Just the ladies this week:

Who's Up

Caroline Wozniacki

Wozniacki spent this season flirting with greatness. She made eight finals and lost the first six of them. So it shouldn't be a surprise that she was the last one sitting on the top of the heap in Singapore this year. She had it coming. In some ways, she maybe should have been part of the Player of the Year conversation a bit more. But the reason she wasn't was her inability to do anything significant at big tournaments this year. So maybe this is the set-up stage for 2018 for her.

Venus Williams

So there's Venus, down 4-6, 0-5 in the WTA Finals, when she receives a push alert on her phone that she, in fact, is in the middle of a tennis match. Alas, it was soon to late to remedy the situation because she lost the second set 6-4. As any longtime reader of TWA knows, I have something of a soft spot for Venus and part of the reason why is in regards to the way she played the WTA Finals -- in her usual OG style. I watched as every single other player in the draw consulted their coach every possible time. Venus spent the tournament figuring it out by herself. That's why she'll almost always be up on the old 'meter. Unless she throws away another final like Wimbledon. I mean, for Pete's sake, Venus ...

Who's Down

WTA Finals

I take it I'm alone on this, but I'm going in anyway. Why on earth is on-court coaching allowed at a major tournament like Singapore? Incidentally, why are so many women running to their coaches, their daddies, their spiritual mentor -- instead of figuring it out themselves. Half of the on-court coaching I heard was, admittedly, Darren Cahill, who's great. Don't get me wrong. But my god, if he is so great, why can't Halep retain what he has been teaching him? Most of what he said seemed to be aimed at managing her feelings, not her game. I'll say it again. This concept, and the fact that only women are allowed to have it, is an insult.

Elina Svitolina

Yeah, she had a rough tournament, but a bad translation of an interview she did led to a severe raking over of the coals. Svitolina's observation that many people were now in contention for being No. 1 somehow became her saying that Serena Williams used to dominate, but that they were now in a different era, which triggered Serena fans, which led to her taking some online hateration until the website issued a correction. Sadly, it was too late for Svitolina's Twitter mentions.

An era of being over rated...she should win a slam first or take a seat down real fast.

— Ïmmαҫ Reno (@immacReno) October 22, 2017

The Attitudimeter: There's No Crying in Tennis

High Attitude

Julia Goerges
The thing I love about writing about sports is that there's no crying in tennis. No emotion, no muss, no fuss, just sports.
Oh, what? You want me to watch this video of Goerges winning her first title in more than six years? Fine! No biggie:

.@juliagoerges wins her 1st WTA title since 2011!

Defeats Kasatkina, 6-1, 6-2 to take @tennisrussia title! pic.twitter.com/BNHrchz3oU

— WTA (@WTA) October 21, 2017

Garbine Muguruza
I'm OK now. Whew. I need some snark in my life, stat:
Picking a WTA Player of the Year this year is a little like picking the worst Donald Trump tweet of 2017. Like, where do you start? They're all terrible! I'm not saying the WTA has been terrible, but no one has stood out. Sure, after a Slam, they stand out. No one has been consistent. No one. Muguruza's spotty season (slam, Cincy, World No. 1 for 10 minutes) is among many spotty seasons among the POY candidates. So spotty that folks were writing in Serena Williams as POY despite her playing, literally, two tournaments this year. One of them was the Australian Open and she happened to be pregnant at the time. I don't know. She's got a case, too. They all do.

Juan Martin del Potro
Listen. Juan Martin del Potro could lose in the first round of Star Search and make this list. Who doesn't love this guy? Sure, he got smoked by Rafa Nadal and Roger Federer recently, but he just won the Stockholm Open, his first tournament win since ... the same tournament the previous year. Glad to see that tumble he took in Shanghai wasn't too much of a problem. I mean, dude deserves a break.
Not that kind of break. The other break.

Low Attitude

Half of the ATP tour
Not literally, but in this past week alone, Nick Kyrgios and Tomas Berdych said "nah" to the rest of the season. Off the top of my head, I believe we are now at Novak Djokovic, Andy Murray, Kei Nishikori, Milos Raonic and Stan Wawrinka as major contenders who started 2017 on a court and ended it on a stretcher. We

Barbora Strycova
We all know that you won't like Strycova when she's angry.

And now, have mercy, she is angry at her fellow Czech Karolina Pliskova, who apparently stole Strycova's coach behind her back.
"Our relationship is zero. We do not go for coffee," she told the press.
No coffee.
This is serious.
Strycova said she'll still play Fed Cup if Pliskova is on the team, and if I were Pliskova, I would not play doubles with her again. That's right -- with her. Strycova knows just how to set up a point to get her partner blasted out of her shoes. Would she actually do that? I'm gonna refer you to the video above.

The WTA Rankings System
How are you going to lose 10 matches in a row and then still manage to end up moving up the rankings into the top 10? That's a question best asked of Kristina Mladenovic and the WTA rankings system. Maybe let's throw in the rest of the players, too. Yo, these guys had almost a year to wreak some havoc while Serena Williams was out and instead of people taking their shots, we have folks moving up the ranking having done nothing at all. I'm done with this topic, I think.

Maria Sharapova
Fresh from winning her first post-ban tournament, Maria Sharapova rolled up at the Kremlin Cup, probably popping the collar, feeling pretty good about herself.
She didn't stay long, losing in some erratic tennis to Magdalena Rybarikova in straight sets.
I admit that I'm tempted right now to make a joke at Sharapova's expense. But I think I may have been a bit rough on Sharapova. Maybe, I thought, I might try a bit harder to understand her, so I decided to go out and buy her book. I guess the first run sold out, because all I could find was this updated version:

Should I buy it?

The Attitudimeter: Who's Up, Who's Down This Week

And now for a new feature here at TWA: The Attitudimeter -- a weekly look at who's on top in the pro game ... and who could use an attitude adjustment. (Note: Attitudimeter is copyright protected, so don't even try it.)

Who's Got Attitude

Roger Federer
He doesn't just get the top spot for winning Shanghai this week, beating his longtime rival Rafael Nadal in the process, but I suspect that Fed is playing the least pressure-free tennis of his life. I only say this because my dude showed up to this tournament looking like a homeless dude and he's cool with that.

Maria Sharapova
Well, Sharapova finally made good use of a wild card, winning the Tianjin Open this weekend. She didn't lose one set, although there weren't any real threats in the draw, either (at least none who advanced very far, ahem Petra Kvitova). Here's the draw.

I'm not usually in the "wild-card-for-drug-ban-returnees," but this tournament really needed some help.

Serena Williams
The women's tennis season has been so inconsistent that folks are talking about Serena Williams for player of the year because she won a slam while pregnant. I agree that this is remarkable, but it's also remarkable that the women who have been jockeying for the No. 1 position have left virtually no impression on the voters. Also, here's another thought -- if we're going to suggest that Serena should win for her Australian Open performance (and apparently not for losing to Madison Brengle in a warmup tournament), can't we throw Venus Williams' name in the mix? She played in two Slam finals and a semi ...

Who Needs an Attitude Adjustment

Rafael Nadal
Nadal's had a good summer and two major titles to his season, but when it comes to beating Federer, he's stuck on the backhand strategy, I think, and it's ... not working anymore. I'm not sure how he did it, or even if it's legal, but Federer has somehow had his backhand surgically replaced with that of Ivan Ljubicic's. Plot twist, Rafa! But he's going to need to go back to the drawing board for a new strategy on his old rival.

Nick Kyrgios
It feels like October must be some type of triggering time of year for Nick. Last year, he got himself thrown off the tour before season's end for not trying during matches. This year, one call going against him in a final against Nadal caused him to hand over the entire match. And then, he threatened to quit a match if he didn't win the first set -- and then he quit the match.

Steve Johnson through to @SH_RolexMasters second round after Kyrgios retires.#SHRolexMasters pic.twitter.com/cf3sgfZpPv

— Tennis TV (@TennisTV) October 10, 2017

Off-topic: Steve Johnson and that mustache, though. Anyway, Kyrgios needs to take Octobers off or something.

Fabio Fognini
I don't think I covered this knucklehead in the blog during the U.S. Open, but he called an umpire a whore during his first-round loss and he is currently playing tennis. This week, officials decided to suspend him and fine him ... kind of. He has to miss two slams next year -- one the U.S. Open and one, apparently, of his choosing. If he behaves himself in the next two years, his fine will be halved from the current $96,000. Fognini isn't challenging this, and why should he? He gets to choose some of his punishment!

Simona Halep
I remember when I thought Angelique Kerber was a placeholder No. 1, and compared to Halep, I really regret that take. I am sorry, Angelique. Like, Halep has had many chances to take the top spot this year, and then she backs into it and follows it up with a loss in the final. She is so unremarkable as a No. 1 that I don't have anything left to say.

League Watch: The Best Advice I've Ever Gotten on a Tennis Court

If you play USTA matches, you probably have played combo leagues as well. It's when you team up with a player who isn't your rating. So if I'm a 4.0 and I'm playing 7.5 combo, I'm playing with a 3.5. Up north, it was somewhat similar to playing 9.0 mixed doubles, where you're playing with a 5 and a 4. Anyway.
So that's the main tennis out here in the fall and I signed up this year with a fairly solid team, so strong I thought we would have no problem with the other teams in our division. So I rolled up to my first match with my partner, a decent 3.5 who forgot her racquet at home the last time I played with her. She had it this time. Our opponents were a pair of what appeared to be nice older ladies who were somewhat slow.
They weren't that slow. Nice? Here's an anecdote and you can decide. So I'm serving. First serve's out. It rolls to the fence. Bouncing maybe six inches off the net -- far from our opponents. The returner stops everything to retreat this ball that is nowhere near any of us. About 30 seconds between first and second serves for this. We win the point. But I'm not pleased. Starting to think it was done on purpose. Happens again. OK. OK.
Now it's the first set tiebreak, one of them is serving and the first serve is out, but my partner swats it back the way you do when you are in mid-swing anyway. Ball bounces behind these women and actually comes off the fence a good distance. The server goes, "It's fine," and serves!
I literally laughed out loud when the point was over and may or may not have mockingly said, "It's fine?"
Anyway, we lost the set. But I always lose the first set (probably not a good thing), so I'm feeling great and we get out to a 4-1 jump in the second set. But small problem: I'm feeling great and my partner, who's a little older, was slowing down and it was obvious. Our opponents started running her all over creation for lobs and then short balls and I didn't know what to do. It was clear that she was going away, and slowly, our opponents came back and won the match.
People get really excited about 7.5 tennis out here and I am not sure why. Just last night, I watched a men's match where the one team was "C'mon!"ing so loudly it distracted the team serving on the next court. Fist pumps. I mean, it's 7.5 tennis. As far as I know, it doesn't count for ratings and there is no prize money.
But my goodness, did these women celebrate when they beat us. They hugged each other and high-fived like they had won the Olympics.
For me, I came away from the match wondering how I could have better protected my partner. The second half of the match, they were running her all over with lobs and crosscourt shots that I couldn't get involved with. I'm not a confident volleyer or poacher, and I knew that if I poached and didn't hit a winning volley, any reply would go to the other side of the court -- and my partner didn't move well enough to switch. So I began to think about what I could have done to help out more. You know, in case we ever played them again.
Which I did not think would happen. After all, I had told my captain that that partner and I didn't make a good team because of our styles and she agreed to switch things up and give me a new partner. That had all changed by the next week and I was back with my original partner again for reasons you honestly could care less about.
Well, OK. I promised my partner that I would try harder to help her. How? First, instead of easing into matches as I like to do, I endeavored to have a sharp start while my partner was at her freshest. I also planned to be more aggressive at net and to stand back a bit on serve returns to help handle the lobs we would get. Besides, I thought to myself as our opponents walked over, what are the chances we were going to play the same women again?
Those chances are 100 percent.
So here we are again with Rose and Blanche (not their real names). This time, we get out to a good start and despite the fact that I hit three double faults in a service game, we win the first set. In the second set, they decided to go to the Australian formation. I always enjoy when people do this because they're usually not doing it right and after one or two failed returns, they go back to normal. Well, this time, they kept it going and for the life of me, I could not get an advantage. Even though our opponent is standing in the middle of the stinkin' service box. It was very annoying and they won the second set pretty easily, as both myself and my partner were entirely flummoxed by these women standing in a different place.
So now we have to play a third-set tiebreak. My partner was tired again and wanted to take a 10-minute break. I mean, it was a good match, but I wanted to go home. But I tried to keep it loose and give her a bit of a break. I told her, "If you need a break, it's no big deal. We beat them now, or we beat them in 10 minutes." We laughed, but I also made a point of not sitting down. She laughed and got up off the bench. I'd like to think it was my inspirational line, but like, it was 8:15 p.m. at this point.
Anyway, we start the match and get an early, but slight lead. I get into position to take the serve and worried about my partner being able to finish the match, and all of a sudden, I see it. This big Mac truck-sized hole up the line and that's where my return went and it was a winner. Then my partner did the same thing when it was her turn. And then we won most of the rest of the points and won the match. When it was over, I told my partner, "That return was there the entire second set! This could've been over a half-hour ago!"
My exhausted partner looked at me, shaking her head. "Sometimes we try too hard, you know?"
And this is seriously the best advice that anyone has ever given me about tennis. I'm not kidding. The easy way isn't always flashy or -- let's be honest -- satisfying. We like winning points with style, right? We want to hit the shot that makes the crowd go "ooh."
But simplicity will get you home a half-hour earlier. Think about that.

IDEA: The Tennis Anti-Doping Programme *Might* Need a New Name

See, if you understand the purpose of the International Tennis Federation's drug panel, it makes more sense.
See, I thought -- and maybe you did, too -- that their purpose is to set definitive rules regarding drug use and to crack down when they spot abuse. I'm not sure where I got such a ridiculous thought, but I'll own it. It was dumb and I'm sorry.
But the actual purpose of the tribunal is to undercut its own authority, protect the players and their ever-fragile reputations and, where possible, aid and abet a drug problem, not fix it in any way. I mean, they're not miracle workers.
How does this role work? Well, you write a lovely letter to a player and you say, "Hey, Dan Evans. Hope you are well. It appears you failed a drug test a few months back -- says you had cocaine in your system? Weird. Anyway, we're gonna need an explanation on this. Can you come see us in a few weeks? No pressure. Thanks. xoxo"
And then Evans gets to come up with a scenario that makes sense. Kind of. "OK, well, yeah, I had a bit of cocaine once. ONE time. And I was NOT competing. And maybe some of the residue got into my toiletries and maybe got into my system when I was competing. And I am VERY sorry. What do you guys think of that one?"
The ITF drug Justice League huddles, comes back to face Evans, looking all clever-like. "OK. OK. Cocaine is a pretty dangerous drug that people have died from using, but we're going to believe that you don't have an ... addiction problem here, and we can see where you might not be at your best cleaning up when you're high. But, Danny -- Danny. We've got to do something here, you understand. We're going to suspend you for a year, but it's backdated to when you failed the test, so it's really just seven months and you have to give back some of your money ... (whispers) assuming you still have it.
"So! I think we're good here. Hey, keep your nose clean, kid! We're here for you."

You know what I have learned about tennis players through the ITF? They are the unluckiest athletes in the world. I mean, consider the odd coincidences that have conspired to damn them in the last couple years when it comes to banned substances entering their bodies without their knowledge or permission:

1. Maria Sharapova missed the email that said her "heart medication" was now banned, and although her team probably got the email, no one on her team really knew she was taking this "heart medication" -- the same "heart medication" that Russian athletes were banned from various sports from taking because it had been found to be performance-enhancing. Huh.
2. Sara Errani accidentally ingested a banned substance that happened to be an ingredient in her mother's cancer medication. Errani's mom, a pharmacist by trade, apparently took this drug -- and then fixed the family dinner at the same spot, which is how Errani ended up taking this drug. Wow!
3. Back to Evans. I just want you to read this, please:

Oh. OK. He just ... threw out the leftover cocaine. OK.

That is burden of proof? I wish this panel was my mom when I was a kid.

"On the other hand."

OK, so the Laver Cup.

I have to admit that the Laver Cup barely registered as a blip over the last few weeks. Whoo-hoo, I thought. Another exhibition on a packed tennis calendar. I was aware that Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal would be on the same team and I was also aware that the other team -- Team World -- despite the name, had a remarkably lower talent reservoir than Team Europe. What's the hook? Who cares?
Turns out that I do. What drew me in were the photos of the bonding between Fed and Rafa:

Exhibition or no, we've never seen two living legends of the game playing on the same team, and definitely not on the same side of the court. And I nearly stroked out when Nadal got in front of Fed for that overhead.

NADAL WAS NOT MESSING AROUND THIS ENTIRE WEEKEND. I know I'm not the only one who thought he was about to go off on Federer when they lost that second set. He was inTENSE.

So why did Laver Cup pick up and gather steam? What worked? And what can our other group competitions learn about this? I have thoughts, naturally:
1. Star power: I expect a lot of money was involved for Laver Cup, but alas, all that's on the line for Davis and Fed cups are national pride and, occasionally, a spot on the Olympic team. Money = playing for love of country. Just thought I'd point that out. Whatever. It's good tennis. Unfortunately, the biggest problem facing these annual tournaments is the lack of top-player interest, especially in non-tennis years. There's other ways to deal with that besides money, like adopting a Ryder Cup-styled schedule, but I'm actually getting tired of myself saying that the ITF needs to address this, so I'm gonna move on.

2. Rafa and Fed together.

My god.

3. The sliding scale scoring: I had never even thought of this, but this could be an idea that could fit Davis and Fed cups. Especially Fed Cup. I really hate that Fed Cup insists on playing its doubles last, and that you don't even get to it half the time, but what if the doubles match actually was worth more points and could sway the result? Or ... what if you followed the Davis Cup lead and moved the doubles to the middle of the rotation? Too much to ask, probably. But anyway, in the Laver Cup format, this worked great for suspense. It all hinged on the very last match, which was a great match! I'm sure one day, Nick Kyrgios will beat Federer, but I fear it will be in Jim Courier's old-man league.

4. Timing: In two ways -- the shortened format and at the end of the Grand Slam season. I feel like exo events can do whatever they want, and this isn't the place for five-setters with no tiebreaks. To its credit, this event was set up for optimal efficiency. They won't even play it in a place without a roof, per the rules.
Obviously, it's a great idea not to shove this right in the middle of the calendar. But also, Laver Cup couldn't have come at a better time as far as current events. While half the country was arguing about the railings of an unacceptable president and the ensuing illogical ramblings of people equating standing up for a song and saluting a flag to loyalty to a country (and yeah, I have thoughts), I found refuge on Sunday in watching some great tennis.
So, thanks, fellas. On several levels.

U.S. Open Time!: The Definitive U.S. Open Wrap

I didn't get to see Rafael Nadal win his 16th Grand Slam title at the U.S. Open live. I missed most of the match due to inconsistent Wi-Fi coverage during Hurricane Irma and then my computer battery died and there was no power for almost two days. So things have been a little crazy since the Open ended, but it doesn't mean I don't have thoughts about what happened during the last major of the year. Let's go!

1. Watching Nadal play in this tournament brought back memories of the French Open, where he was wearing down opponents who looked great in Set 1. Those same opponents looked like they could use an oxygen tank by the end of the match. Nadal could have found complications in the final against Kevin Anderson, the lone survivor of the bottom half of the men's draw. Heavy and hard hitters like Nick Kyrgios and Denis Shapovalov have gotten the best of Nadal this year, but at this tournament, Nadal was able to blunt power and use the entire court to keep his opponents from standing at the baseline hitting comfortably. I mean, poor Anderson looked like a weary lab retriever by the end of that match -- he's not the most elegant mover to begin with.
I've had some things to say about the bottom half of the draw, but making a Slam final is still an accomplishment, even if you didn't have to beat a top 10 player to do it. This could be the thing that propels Anderson's career to another level. Hopefully, when he gets to that level, he won't feel the need to give himself a fist pump just for holding serve in the first game of the match. It's just that, Kevin, well, you're supposed to hold serve.

Besides, it's not really a fist pump unless you're covering some court.                                  

2. So Sloane Stephens won the U.S. Open and I still feel she was pretty lucky to make it out of her semifinal against Venus Williams. Right? I mean, those last two games featured some of the gutsiest ball retrieval skills I've ever seen from a non-Williams. Look at this:



I mean, what.
Now, perhaps I judged Sloane a bit harshly by wondering what in hell she was thinking by playing Wimbledon first tournament back and losing in the first round. Still a valid question, but obviously, winning the next major out after a long injury layoff is no small feat. And just as you probably shouldn't take anything long-term about Madison Keys' performance in the final, I'd caution the same about Stephens. Keys did not handle her nerves well for the final, but that was such a colossal lock-up, it's hard to imagine her letting that hamper her again. As for Sloane, I don't know what her new pecking order is in the grand scheme now. I'd love to see her tested more against the rest of the top 10, especially Garbine Muguruza.

3. Because the women's No. 1 ranking has been like a hot potato that no one wants since Serena Williams went on maternity leave, Muguruza is now the top dog of the WTA. At least she's a current major winner. Maybe we're asking too much of our No. Ones. Serena and Roger Federer and Nadal and Djokovic have been dominant and consistent in their reins. Angelique Kerber? No, not exactly. Karolina Pliskova? Well, no. Maybe now we're heading into the scrapper age, where players are battling weekly against each other, as opposed to acquiescing to the dominance of one. That actually sounds like a lot of fun, too.

4. Martina Hingis is still out here winning doubles titles, this time with Chan Yung-Jan and Jamie Murray. That brings the grand career total to 25. My unofficial theory: She is out to prove that she can win a title with anyone with the same serve she'd had since she was 16. Pretty bold.
Oh, and also, I'm going to need someone to talk to me about how this dinner went:

lovely dinner company tonight! @Venuseswilliams @JRBlake @GbrClassic pic.twitter.com/c3cCtmg3yq

— Martina Hingis (@mhingis) September 17, 2017

U.S. Open Time!: Peak Shade and a Cavernous Men's Half

You know me. I am not about gossip or "spilling tea" or anything like that.
OK, who am I kidding? I am loving this Sharapova/Wozniacki/Coach Patrick shade-throwing! I mean, when half of the big-time talent are missing from the last major of the year, you have to find life somewhere!
You know what? Let's start with the men. As previously noted, we have Rafa Nadal and Roger Federer in the same half of the draw, and so far, they are delivering. They're making it a little uncomfortable  on themselves -- watching Federer go into five sets after seemingly gaining control of a match is a bit weird. Probably moreso for him. Nadal's last two matches have been interesting, too. He's had tight first sets with players he would not normally have trouble with -- Taro Daniel and Leonardo Mayer -- but watching him struggle to find that gear, then just go off to the races has been really interesting. And let's not forget that past champion Juan Martin del Potro, up-and-comer Dominic Thiem and ninth-seed David Goffin are still among contenders in the Rafa/Roger half.
Wanna see the bottom half?

One of these guys is going to play for a U.S. Open title. Yep. Yeppers. Uh-huh!
Yeah, this is what happens when Novak Djokovic, Andy Murray, Stan Wawrinka and Milos Raonic can't even show up. No, this is no time to talk about the pro tennis schedule. Don't. Be. Silly. The other thing that happens when you need to schedule matches for a spotlight-short men's draw is that you look in other places. You look at your star attractions. You look for someone who can put butts in seats when Pablo Carreno Busta can't.
You look at Maria Sharapova.
And, yes, this sucks for all the reasons I have previously stated, and many die-hard fans feel the same way. But I think this is why she's getting the plum night session on Ashe every time. No, it's not fair. It's definitely not fair to someone like Caroline Wozniacki, delegated to Court 17 and reportedly deluged by fans after a match she lost because security was nowhere to be found.
Yeah, they were probably at Ashe. Protecting the gold bouillon.
Wozniacki aired her frustrations and said what many have been saying (count among them the organizers at the French Open and Wimbledon, by the way, nbd): Someone coming back from a drug ban shouldn't have the fatted calf laid out for her the second she returns, regardless of whether she's done the time.
And it turns out that Maria Sharapova had something to say about that, which went a little like this:

Sharapova about Wozniacki's comments: All that matters to me that I'm in the fourth round and I'm not sure where she is (📽 US Open/ESPN) pic.twitter.com/NcaBbhnXLc

— Ilya Ryvlin (@ryvlin) September 2, 2017

Whew! I did not know Sharapova had that in her and I'm kinda impressed. Because we know that she knew exactly where Wozniacki was, don't we?
Still, it's worth pointing out that for all of her talk about being willing to play anywhere, including a parking lot in Queens, there has been one place she has not been all that enthusiastic about: The qualifier draw.
Hm.
But in case you thought that would close the book on this chapter, Serena Williams' (who of course had to have her baby during a major) coach Patrick Moratoglou (who seems to really enjoy digging Sharapova) had to get involved, telling a New York newspaper that the best thing for Sharapova is to not have Serena in the draw AND that those with drug bans should have to wait a year before they get a wild card. I'll let him expand:

Man's right.
Very much looking forward to Sharapova's response. Because, yeah, I'm not mature at all.