AO 2018: Having a Real Banguh of a Tournament Down Unduh!

Might not have used "banger" right in that instance. Don't care. I like the way it sounds in my brain, mate!
Let's just face the facts of what we have here: If my Australian Open draws were a body, it would have been bleeding out on night one. I mean, look at this:

This is like that Red Wedding episode on "Game of Thrones."
I honestly had planned to post at the midpoint of this tournament, but all of a sudden, it's the semifinals. I realized the reason I wasn't writing was because I was watching all the good tennis (and dragging Tennys Sandgren on Twitter, natch). But let's hit my top five personal highlights for this tournament and then recline on the couch for the semis (quick picks: Kerber/Woz and Cilic/Fed), shall we? OK!

5. Su-wei Hseih: My girl showed up to the Australian Open in a barely concealed bra because guess what? We're going to play the Open in 873-degree heat every year! Seriously, I feel like this was a tactical move and a damned good one. Besides that, she played some awesome tennis. Those angles! I spent the entire match between she and Kerber gasping at the speed and tactics.

4. Coco Is Nice for a Change: OK, this was way back, like three years ago in the first round. So Coco Vandeweghe, who is normally known for being rude and immature, was on the ropes against Timea Babos. But it was her "outburst" during a changeover where she sought out a banana that had me like, what?

CoCo Vandeweghe had gotten her first code violation earlier for time violation/civil disobedience: refusing to take court without eating a banana first. #AusOpen pic.twitter.com/6Opg7xon2N

— Ben Rothenberg (@BenRothenberg) January 15, 2018

The only reason I worry about this is that the one time that I see Vandeweghe speak calmly and making a well-reasoned argument, she gets in trouble for it! This does not encourage good behavior, ref! Of course, later, she earned a warning for swearing (which does sounds about right).

3. Lauren freakin' Davis: Bahmygawd that match against Simona Halep. I identify with Davis on a couple levels. First, also short. Second, also have RIP'ed several toenails during/after tennis matches. Probably the only difference is that my toenail removal wasn't broadcast in hi-def on ESPN. Third: Utter disregard for anyone in my way during a match:

OMG LOOK AT THAT LAUREN DAVIS ALMOST SMASHED THAT BALLBOY #AusOpen pic.twitter.com/4wcJlIjfM0

— LorenaPopa 🕵🏻‍♀️ (@popalorena) January 20, 2018

Very curious to see what a player like her can do on a clay court. Curious indeed.

2. Marin Cilic: You know when I talked about how great Rafael Nadal's draw was? And how he should be fine until he comes up against a big, flat hitter? Yeah, well, I was thinking about guys like Cilic, although Nadal is also dealing with an injury. Cilic is playing well right now and once won a Slam by beating one Roger Federer, so ...

1. Caroline Wozniacki: I mean, what the hell has gotten into the Woz? It's not just me, right? Her game has definitely grown three sizes in the last six months or so?