Yes, he is untouchable and a legend, but Bud Collins has lost his damn mind.
Yes, he really called Roger Federer the "Lord of the Swings." And he really implied that because Janko Tipsarevic switched to a black outfit -- the color Federer wore through the U.S. Open -- it might be a sign. Yes, Bud, it might be a sign that a longer offseason wouldn't be a bad idea -- for you.
Let's not forget the "menage a trois of television" reference, which was greeted by a full minute of awkward silence from his fellow commentators. Here's my question: When are they going to put Mary "Geri Jewell" Carillo and Collins together? I can tell you this: the commentary would last far longer than the match.
Roll call at the Melbourne Airport:
Murray: "Hold my flight a sec. I'm just checking out these classifieds in the newspaper. Maybe I should place a want ad. 'Mute coach with hands-off approach wanted. Must be able to surgically detach me from my trusty drop shot.' "
Roddick: "$#*&^@*! I'm here. Stay in school, kids, or you'll end up a stewardess who loses my effin' luggage."
Mauresmo: "What happened to the days when people just pulled out of matches against me?"
Tipsarevic: "Not planning to sleep much during this flight."
Baghdatis: "Me neither. We should watch some YouTube during the flight."
Davydenko: "Guess I'll be losing some ranking points now. Obviously, whoever set up this draw wants me out of the top 10."