You'd think the more you lose, the more you get used to it. Well, for me, it just gets worse. Today, I played someone who was constantly talking about how ill she was and that she probably wouldn't be able to finish. So I jump out to a 3-1 lead, and already thinking about how big a deal winning would be if my opponent is injured. Before I knew it, it was 3-all, which didn't concern me, but then she got up 4-3, and I thought, 'OK, time to get serious.' Well, by the end of that thought, it was the end of the set, and I had lost it.
The part that really hurt for me was that I realized that I'm a head case on the court. I'm good until I miss a shot. One shot, and then I'm frazzled. I start second-guessing myself, wondering if I'm going for too much and at the same time chiding myself for merely pushing the ball.
Oh, wait, there's another part that really hurts. Every match I've played, I've got to listen to my opponent tell me about the nice game I have. The woman I lost to today told me, "I didn't win the match, you lost it." It's a nice compliment, but when you hear it at least once a week, it starts to resemble the laughter of the Wicked Witch of the West. "You're a loser, my pretty. You and your little racquet, too."
Why can't the better player win all the time, regardless of all the damn Swiss cheese in her ears?
I'd like to end on an optimistic note: My season is ending soon.