Sunday, June 03, 2007

Midpoint: What do you get when you cross a jock with a microphone?

I'm really enjoying my free preview of the Tennis Channel. The idea of having your choice of which match to watch is very cool. And, after all, what ingrate would complain about something you're getting for free?
Yeah, that would be me. I know this is a young channel, but why is it that if you're watching Schnyder/Sharapova, you can hear the commentary on Nalbandian/Davydenko in the background? Do all the commentators have to call the matches in the same studio?
Speaking of commentators, I hear Chanda Rubin is considering a return to the tour. Let's hope she does, because she sucks as a commentator. As a player, having a handle on the English language isn't exactly key, but if you're going to call matches, it would help. For instance, Chanda, turnabout is fair play. Turnabout, not turnaround.
And I know Rennae Stubbs is still playing doubles. So why the hell is she courtside reporter? What is she, hard up for cash? I'll personally pay her to never pick up a microphone again. Let me paint a picture: Stubbs is talking with Venus Williams after her second round match.
RS: Do you know who your 3rd round opponent is?
VW: (Probably lying) No.
RS: I don't either. (laughs) That's my bad.
That was a real exchange, broadcast on television. And that sucks. But the French commentators have the bar set pretty freakin' low. I was half-watching Sharapova/Schnyder when I realized how quiet (well, considering who was playing) it was. The audio, I guess, had been lost, and it was great. Until the Tennis Channel figured it out. Then I had to listen to some windbag theorize that Sharapova lost a point because she stopped grunting in the middle of it. Not the shoulder. Not trying to hit the cover off of every ball. No, no, of course -- it's the grunting? What, did they grab these people out of the crowd?
All this crappy commentary makes me ask something I never thought I would: Where's Tracy Austin? I can't believe I just wrote that.

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