Thursday, December 17, 2015

Serena Williams: Apparently three out of four is pretty bad

This week, Serena Williams was named Sportsperson of the Year by Sports Illustrated like the boss that she is. Which is utter nonsense, of course.
Some horse enthusiasts are a bit perturbed about SI's announcement. Apparently, some horse named American Pharaoh won some horse races (man, I hope he doesn't blow all that money on apples), and that's more impressive than Serena winning three majors. She did this playing some of her worse tennis on her least-favorite surface while ill (French Open), against some inspired opponents (Heather Watson, Venus Williams) and against opponents who were sometimes at least a decade younger than her (Garbine Muguruza, who arguably has shown the most potential to next dominate the women's game is 22.)
So I don't know anything about what this horse has done, but I think that horses should be disqualified from winning Sportsperson for the year for a couple reasons. I'd like to outline them here:
a. A horse is an animal, not a person. And I don't think this one even talks, like Mr. Ed.
b. You know what would happen to Serena Williams if she broke her leg? Some doctor puts her leg in a cast, she doesn't play for six months, and knowing Serena Williams, she'd come back and win another Slam or four. You know what would happen to American Pharaoh if he broke his leg? Yep, you guessed it -- the shotgun.
So I'm good with the human winning the award.

No comments: