Dear Andy:
What in the hell is wrong with you?
I know that when you step out on the court, you might be thinking primarily of yourself, about your own desire to win. Especially when you play someone who appears to be head-and-shoulders above the rest of the class.
Well, let me give you a little hint about the rest of us. Some of us like to live life on the edge. Some of us, (and leave Pete Rose out of this, for land's sake!) actually bet on tennis. Some of us put a little faith in strangers, because we're in a trusting mood. Because you (specifically, you, Andy, you little -- whew! Almost lost it there ...) make "some of us" think we can believe, Andy. Some of us want you to win more than you do, trust me. Trust me.
I mean, why, Andy? Why would you retool your game, hire a tennis legend as your coach, tell us that you're the "New Andy," start hitting a backhand, even learning how to volley? Why do you reel us in, then cut us loose? Maybe you feel bad right now, because in spite of your improvements, you got beat again in a Grand Slam by Roger Federer. 6-0, Andy? 6-0?? I could see how painful it could be, feeling like you're closing the gap, only to be dismissed as just another pretender. You've got to be wondering, "What the hell? Is he getting better or am I getting worse?" Might even be feeling like you're trying to run in quicksand, working your ass off, and making no progress. And that sucks.
Andy, you might be thinking that this is the lowest a human being's ever felt. Two words:
What.
Ever.
"Some of us" expect big things, a big payoff, even, by supporting you, and "we" are the ones suffering now. Some of us have lost a paycheck over this match, a mortgage. Worse yet, "some of us" have to pick up a shovel and clean dog shit out of our yard in the biting Pittsburgh cold, sliding on a sloped lawn covered with snow. Ever been so low that you had to shovel dog shit for three weeks straight, have to clean up after a dog that doesn't even like you? (I can tell. I have my ways.) I didn't think so, Andy. Incidentally, when was the last time you've even been in the same room with a shovel?
Bottom line, Andy? There's only one fair solution to this. I feel like I've been hustled, man. You baited me into making a bet, then I get my clock cleaned. Or my yard. Whatever. Anyhow, you should pay off my bet, man. I put my neck on the line for you, dawg. For you. If you cared about your fans, you'd get your Cornhusker behind down here, and clean up my dog shit.
I really hope I don't need to get my lawyer on this, Andy.
Sincerely,
Naf
5 comments:
love it. XD laughed my ass off. my condolences though for the lost bet.
Who the hell are you? Your letter is one written by a person who is angry and frustrated at having lost money because that person was not the brightest cookie around. You, you took Roddick's words "this is the new Roddick" and put faith in him. You believed that this really was "the new Andy Roddick", or you would never have risked your money. You taking that risk is YOUR problem, YOUR stupidity, YOUR ignorance. Nobody told you to risk your money, did they? So, really, who's fault is it? Nobody but yours.
Indeed, a 6 - 0 loss was shocking and unexpected, to say the very least, but what the hell, people have bad days. Andy's game that night was nowhere near his best, or he would never have overcome players like Safin and Ancic. Roddick may not be the best, but heck, give him the credit for trying his best. It was a tough match, and YOU're annoyed because you lost money, but stop, take a moment to think about what he would've been feeling, out on Rod Laver Arena, not knowing what was happening and what to do.
My advice for you, next time, think before you act. If Lleyton Hewitt, or any other player as a matter of fact, announced in an interview "I will be #1 again after I win 2007 Wimbeldon", or something along those lines, would you, when betting for Wimbledon came around, go out and place, say, 10 grand on him to be the winner. I think not. So the only person to be blamed for your loss is you.
Hey, thanks! Keep reading!
OK, Anonymous No. 2:
Let's get something straight here. My letter was a joke. (See Anonymous #1.) I didn't bet any money on the Roddick match, and I didn't write that I did. I write a lot of tongue-in-cheek posts. Take it easy, kid.
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