The Terrible Twos

Back in the day, like in the biblical day, terrible meant something a little different than it does now. It meant frightening. 

And if you're Jannik Sinner and Aryna Sabalenka, you are probably quite frightened right now. 

Let's start with Sabalenka and her No. 2, Coco Gauff. Having dispatched French Open's reigning queen Iga Swiatek, it's fair to assume that she may have figured the title was hers. Hell, she had a harder draw too, for the best player in the world, especially compared to Gauff. The problem is that you still have to play the match. Full disclosure: I was out playing tennis and only caught the tail end of the match at first. I saw Sabalenka's comments first before seeing the rest of the match and I thought, "How awful can she have played with a scoreline like that??" Then I saw the match and I was really confused. I mean I know she's not going to forget about that easy volley she netted deep in the first set, but she did win that set, so ... But otherwise, they obviously played a competitive match. So, the comments. Why, though.

Fun fact: I just went to Google Sabalenka's draw and as I typed in her name, the first thing that autopopulated was 'sabalenka sore loser.' Yikeys. Which brings me to the second level to these comments. It is one thing to be hard on yourself in the aftermath of a hard-fought match, but then Sabalenka said that if Iga had played the Coco, Iga would have won. Which is ... like, why?!?? That is petty af and not even based on reality because Coco beat her easily on clay, like, last month. (OK, their head-to-head is a little lopsided on Swiatek's end but still.) Also, bro, how are you going to say out loud that your opponent was framing balls and they were staying in? That is basically saying she got lucky. 

One could argue that when you say things like that, it might be because you're scared. 

Speaking of frightening, I couldn't watch the whole men's match right away on Sunday but was following it online. Not gonna lie, I thought it was going to be a Sinner wipeout. Talk about scary? His form for this whole tournament was absolutely terrifying. He actually had me feeling sorry for Novak Djokovic, which is no easy task. In fact, it would be the first time I've ever felt sorry for him. 

Anyway, Carlos Alcaraz was down two sets before he decided to play some of the best tennis I've ever seen from him. My thing with Alcaraz has been that he has gotten into heavy moments in matches and just lost focus a bit. Even in the deeps of this match, I thought it would happen again. But match point was the perfect example of how he played the whole match. You're trying to win a match in a fifth-set tiebreak, right? So you go to the high-percentage shot, into midcourt, right? No, you scream a winner down the line, which was low-percentage, ballsy and confident! I love the showman Alcaraz, but sometimes I think he gets a bit too much into his options. That final showed that he is capable of locking in and staying there. 

As for Sinner, it was hard to see where he went wrong. It's not like he gave the match away, but he did look a little tired there at the end which is sort of unacceptable after a five-and-a-half-hour match. I kid. It's good to see Sinner get a bit of a scare in him. He probably doesn't feel that way, but

Thoughts from the French Open (From My Back Patio)

                Ah, the French Open. The Slam that requires American fans to wake up at the crack of dawn just to see their comrades duke it out. Uh, I chose sleep, so I have no idea yet who won the Coco Gauff/Madison Keys matchup but if I had to guess, I’d say Gauff in a quick two sets. 

                  Right now, Mirra Andreeva and Lois Boisson are putting on a show out here. The teen Andreeva has traditionally managed stress pretty well in her young career but not today! It’s hard to imagine what it must be like to be used to being the belle of the ball and then going into a match where the crowd is actively rooting against you. A couple minutes ago, she smacked a ball way out of the court and got a ball abuse warning. (Such a stupid penalty. Especially when half the time, hitting an actual person yields almost no response. Coming up later.) 

A quick word about Boisson. Unfortunately, all anyone knew about her before was that another tennis player said she smelled, which did not happen in middle school – this was still the pro tour, so. But I’m curious to know if her will to win is happening in Paris because she’s French, or if she is always so brave in the face of break points and in tight moments. Right now, she’s receiving for the match, and Andreeva appears to already be thinking about where to have dinner – in England. Oops, it’s over. Boisson is through to the semis. What in the world.  Boisson is saying now in post-match that she is tired. Bet she is – it’s crazy that running around her backhand is working for her, but she’s obviously in great shape. 

                  Anyway, couple rando thoughts before I go back to the tennis (I mean work!):

 

1.        What is with the Nike kits this Slam? They are giving Charlie Brown, well-known as the world’s biggest loser?? 

2.        OK, Lorenzo Musetti. He kicked a ball into the upper body of a linesperson yesterday. He got the same level of penalty that Andreeva just got for hitting an inanimate object out of the court. This is what I mean about umpire judgement making tennis rules impossible to consistently uphold. Novak Djokovic obviously didn’t mean to hit a ball at a linesperson’s throat, but he got defaulted. As well he should have, because if you can’t control your temper and it ends up hurting someone, the penalty should hit you where it hurts. Musetti says he obviously didn’t mean it and that was why he got to stay in the tournament and advance to the semifinals. In short, that is crazy. 

 

 

 

 

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French Open 2025: "Such a hottie."

Hey, sorry I'm late. Just finished chain-smoking my way through the Naomi Osaka/Paula Badosa first round at the French Open. But it's OK -- it was those little cute French cigarettes in the movies. I also ate a whole baguette.    

There should be some type of rule when you're putting draws together. Like, if you have two great players who are trying to re-establish their foothold on the game, and they get paired for a first or second round match, you gotta start the draw over. There is no world where it's fair that these two had to play each other right away. They deserved better but that stadium of spectators got their money's worth. 

The tennis was exciting to watch, but as a mere mortal who plays tennis, it is actually a little encouraging to see pros do things that you have also done. I can imagine that Osaka is going to see that game point Badosa had at 3-4 in her sleep for a while. She had Badosa outmaneuvered and pushes the backhand up the line just wide?! It was a game of margins, it seemed, for both players, except that the ball seemed to always be just out for Osaka. It's hard to say what, if anything, she did wrong at the end -- Badosa turned up the defense and set herself up better for closing shots. 

Tough loss for Osaka, but she'll be back. And it'd be nice to see Badosa stay healthy for the whole tournament, especially because her little corner of the draw looks really good for her!

Anyway, I also ended up stress eating another baguette and crying into my strong French roast yesterday watching the Rafael Nadal ceremony. I mean, you knew it was going to be an emotional rollercoaster. But the French went all the hell out. Matching shirts for the crowd? Bringing out the rest of the Big 4 on video, then in person?! The footprint on the court FOREVER?! Look, he deserved it and if I had any qualms, I'd say a bootyprint instead. Such a hottie. 

Speaking of the Big 4, it is hard to look at them and realize that one of these people were not like the others. I am not a person who likes shooing people into retirement. But I am just saying that Novak Djokovic might take something more from yesterday's ceremony. Like considering the idea that he had to get his 100th title at an ATP 250 tournament and beating Hubert Hurkacz in the final. Like losing to Matteo Arnaldi in Madrid. I am just saying.

P.S.: Yo, how is Yanina Wickmayer still playing Slams!? I ask this realizing her opponent is Victoria Azarenka, who is literally the same age. 

French Open ‘24: Another Close Call

Listen, I don’t hold grudges. I’m the first one to accept the olive branch when it is offered and am more than willing to reset a relationship once I see a sustained willingness to change. 

A SUSTAINED WILLINGNESS TO CHANGE. Gaslighting a stadium full of people into winning a toss you lost is not showing a willingness to change. Getting questioned about something you apparently did wrong – like, there’s visible evidence – and responding essentially: “Hey, I paid for that to go away. Stop asking about it?!”  

A change has not been made. While I was openly bitching about Rafael Nadal having to possibly play his last match at the French Open against Alexander Zverev, a friend of mine asked why. I explained he was about to start trial for domestic abuse in Germany – a trial that would be going on during the tournament. He said, “Well, isn’t it innocent until proven guilty?” 

Sure, it is. And now that he’s paid to have the case go away, he will always be presumed as such. Maybe the better question is what kind of job – I'm talking to you, average Joe/Jane -- could you have where you could be accused of assault so credibly that it’s going to trial and still have a public-facing job that’s not impacted by that? At the very least, you’d be told to take a break. And would said person still be in a leadership position in your organization, perhaps a leadership position that could ask his fellow leaders on a, oh, I don’t know, a players council about whether they should have limitations on players accused of committing crimes during their active playing career?  

Those are multiple questions, I guess. Alexander Zverev can go suck a lemon until he shows some remorse and starts speaking about these accusations like an adult. Anybody can throw money at something. But are you sorry?  

So, no, I didn’t watch the men’s final because I was not in the proper headspace to potentially watch this guy win a Slam. But I did catch up on it afterwards, and this moment right here 

 

cleared my skin. 

IFYKY 

This, too, when Alcaraz *technically* double-faulted at possibly the very worst moment in the match: 

 

I don’t care! I’m petty! 

Carlos Alcaraz, we already know, is a unique talent. He’s great at tennis and he’s a showman. God bless him, he’s also still quite young and capable of wrapping that racquet around his neck when things get complicated. Or even when they don’t! That five-setter wasn’t the best tennis I’ve ever seen, but it shows great maturity to pull a match out the way Alcaraz did while playing below his level.  

And then there was the women’s final. Which I also didn’t watch live. No offense to Iga Swiatek or Jasmine Paolini, but I had the opportunity to play that morning and something told me it wasn’t going to take long. Probably what told me that was how Swiatek has been a buzzsaw since her near-loss against Naomi Osaka. Yes, Swiatek is a beast on this surface, she’s amazing, she’s head-and-shoulders over just about everyone else, blah. 

But a word about Jasmine Paolini. She has been out here on this tour working. She is probably about an inch taller than me and has been consistent for the last year or so. Just taking out the Elena Rybakinas of the world, looking all sweet and harmless. No one was looking at her when this tournament started but deep inside, Jasmine was like 

 

 

And she did – runners-up in both the singles and women’s doubles.