So You Say There's A Slam Going On: French Open 2019

Of course I knew the French Open started today.
Kinda.
Well, I knew it would start on Memorial Day weekend. I just didn't realize this was actually Memorial Day weekend?
Seriously, I've been stretched thin, more so than I realized, so for the first time in a while, I unfortunately didn't have my draw breakfast party in my office. Unfortunate also, though, is that I did pick up on the fact that I was missing a major in time to watch Venus Williams flame out to Elina Svitolina. I've said many times that Svitolina's game is utterly boring and it is, but she didn't need much today. I don't think there'd be any shame in sitting out of your least successful major. I mean, Roger Federer did it for, like three years, right?
Also could not help but notice that Nicolas Mahut is playing this tournament in singles. Did he not say he was retiring last year? Uh ...
OK, so true fact -- I was on YouTube looking for writing music when I noticed a clip of Garbine Muguruza's match against Taylor Townsend. And that's when I realized today was kind of a big deal. So I watched the highlights. Yes, Townsend lost, but she played a really good match! But once Muguruza decided to step into the court, she didn't have much of a chance. But still.
Oh, and Kerber got her butt kicked too. We all caught up on the important stuff? All right, let's do some first-round predictions (for the ones that haven't been played yet):

Jeremy Chardy v. Kyle Edmund: This is the only match on the men's side that looks like it could be remotely interesting. But you never know. Maybe Yannick Hanfmann pulls off a miracle against Rafa Nadal?
(Time out)
OK, time in. I just watched some clips with Hanfmann and he is a big, strong dude with big groundstrokes. He also appears to be error-prone. Here's hoping big-confidence Rafa shows up tomorrow instead of early clay-season 2019 Rafa.

Kaia Kanepi v. Julia Goerges: I do not believe Kanepi has ever met a seeded opponent in the first round of a major that she didn't beat. After that, yeah, nothing, but she lives for those first-round upsets!

Sorana Cirstea v. Petra Kvitova: Kvitova, but should be at least entertaining ...

Luksika Kumkhum v. Ana Sevastova: I'd give the edge to Sevastova, but this is almost definitely going three sets, right?

Barbora Strycova v. Sam Stosur: YASSSSSS

Serena Williams v. : Yeah, against whoever. Look, we all have questions about Serena Williams right now. She had a strong 2018, and this year, in Australia, she snatched defeat out of the jaws of victory and let Karolina Pliskova, who was just playing OK, back into the match. She's played one clay court match. Keeps backing out of matches with some injury. Like, what is going on?!